Your Holiday PSA: Disaster Preparedness Simulation Exercise – ZOMBIE ATTACK

The following recommended Holiday training plan, for you and your loved ones, is proved courtesy of “Sand Man” and his dedicated warriors of the Zombie Emergency Response Operations (ZERO) – Kansas Scout Detachment.   They continue to stay on the lookout for the undead menace 24/7 so you can buy your iPads free from fear of getting eaten.  Many thanks my brothers!   Don’t forget to read below the fold for the handy documentation your employers may require for legal reasons.

– The POTR 


Disaster Preparedness Simulation Exercise


 The purpose of this exercise is to evaluate current doctrine for responding to a zombie attack and/or outbreak in a city/town or community.


  City/Township Police Department

Local Government Agencies

State EOC officials

Representatives from local business and Church organizations

 Local Emergency managers

EHS emergency planning representative city/town

 Local Zombie Response Teams[1]


 This exercise is centered around a single event: a table-top exercise in which the science (e.g. neurobiology) of “zombieism,” or zombie behavior spectrum disorder[2] (ZBSD) will be discussed and the stages of an outbreak identified, with follow-on discussion of how an outbreak of zombie attacks might affect maintaining support for the campus course management system. This disaster exercise may draw upon the Campus Closure Exercise (DR4) current in the preparations stage.


 Clearly the national, international media and the government of the United States have begun paying attention to the possibility of an outbreak of zombie behavior spectrum disorder.[3]   The Center for Disease Control (CDC) and police agencies (i.e., the Boston Police Department) around the nation are starting to pay attention to the possibility of zombie outbreak or attacks and are addressing citizen notification concerns.[4]

Point in fact, it is clear that the science behind ZBSD is not fully understood with little hard evidence to support outbreaks other than witnesses as a result attempts to study zombie behavior are not always accurate, leading to confusion in accurately identifying a true zombie during an outbreak.[5]  In this exercise no attempt will be made to distinguish between true Zombieism and other racial forms of behavior, outbreaks having somewhat similar affects on the general population that may fill out the full scope of the zombie behavior spectrum.   For this exercise, it will be assumed that the affects of attacks by flesh-eating individuals, accompanied by the rapid spread of ZBSD due to bites and scratches that do not result in the immediate death and in some cases the consumption of victims are Zombies.

Part 1 of this exercise will be the identification of characteristics of a zombie outbreak that would most likely precede an announced outbreak notification by local or city officials. These might include but not limited to:

a. Disappearance of isolated citizens;

b. Increasing numbers of unexplained deaths and disappearances;

c. Identification of difficult to kill (especially to the body), flesh-eating perpetrators;

d. Recognition that the numbers of perpetrators is rapidly increasing and that those previously identified as victims has reappeared as perpetrators;

e. Increasing isolation of survivors;

f. Breakdown of peace-keeping and medical services, due to spread of ZBSD;

Part 2 of the exercise will be a discussion of how the overall impact of a zombie outbreak will affect use of current doctrine “Zombie Survival Guide” and methods to combat and effectively address such issues as:

a. Generally, zombified users will be inarticulate and unable to clearly describe technology problems and use cases;

b. Some support staff may be infected and unable to effectively and efficiently carry out their support responsibilities;

c. The rapid breakdown of civil society and declining numbers of uninfected users may have adverse budget impacts resulting in a reduction in staffing levels;

d. The spread of ZBSD to institutional administration may complicate policy making;

Phase 3 of the exercise will cover important operational topics such as:

Proper hygiene during an outbreak;

Most effective hiding places and refuges should you encounter zombies at home;

Situational work practices such as covering windows, barricading doors, and distinguishing between zombie moans and other moaning encountered in the workplace;

Dispelling myths.  For example, contrary to Lawrence (2007),[6] garlic will not stop true zombies, only vampires; and zombies do come out during the day, though they are most active a night because they typically do not like sunlight;

Policies and procedures for dispatching an infected co-worker.

Anticipated Outcomes

 1.  Better understanding and identification of Zombie Behavior Syndrome and Zombie Behavior

Spectrum Disorder will increase timely implementation of effective response strategies in the event of a zombie attack situation;

2.  Increased readiness of population centers for staff and planners against zombie outbreak situations including necessary security and personal protection practices and policies;

3. Enhanced ability to maintain emergency services in the event of an outbreak;

4. Decreased transition time due to Zombie identification of outbreaks to move from standard emergency operations to ZBSD operations;

5. Development of a formal ELS zombie outbreak plan

a. Other city/town or community agencies may need to develop their own ZBSD plans;

6. Improved efficiency and economies of scale in the process of identifying and dispatching ZBSD

infected co-workers.

Tentative Action Items

 Equip all staff offices with “blackout curtains” to prevent identifying worker locations to zombies;

Equip all offices with easily barricaded doors able to withstand prolonged zombie incursion


Equip staff with laptops and ensure internet communication, tested, and working for staff who

may find commuting to work to be difficult;

Equip all staff with long range (e.g. rifles) and short range (e.g. hand guns) firearms or other weaponry (e.g. chain saws, baseball bats) for defense against the infected and to dispatch possibly infected co-workers.[7]



Personal Information


Name: ___________________________________________________________ ___________

Work Phone: _________________ Work Address: _________________________________________

Work Department/Unit: _________________________________________________________________

Incident Information


Date of Incident: ___________________ Location: _________________________________________

This is to verify that at the time and place indicated above I was required to kill _____________________

(last name)

_____________________, because he / she was displaying the following

(last name) (if known)

symptoms of ZBSD, or Zombie Behavior Spectrum Disorder (check all that apply):

_____ headache _____ fever

_____ chills _____ other flu-like symptoms

_____ unresponsive to most stimuli _____ moaning

_____ references to wanting to eat brains _____ recently dead but moving again

_____ large areas of decaying flesh or open wounds

_____ lack of rational thought (this can cause problems confusing zombies with managers)

_____ killed and ate another employee: _____________________________________________

(name and unit of other employee)

Based on these symptoms I killed ____________________________________________ using a:

(name of dispatched zombie)

_____ handgun _____ rifle

_____ shotgun _____ baseball bat

_____ chainsaw _____ piece of furniture

_____ explosive device – _________________________________________________________

(describe device)

_____ other – _________________________________________________________________


Dispatching Employee Signature: _________________________________________________________


_____________________ _____________________ ______________ ________________________

(last name) (first name)  (unit)


(witness signature)

_____________________ _____________________ ______________ ________________________

(last name) (first name) (unit)


(witness signature)

_____________________ _____________________ ______________ ________________________

(last name) (first name) (unit)


(witness signature)


Reviewed by: ________________________________________ _____________________________

(name) (title)

Dispatch is: _____ Approved

_____ Physical plant has been notified to send housekeeping for cleanup

_____ Employee has been sent additional ammunition (as appropriate)

_____ HR has been notified to stop salary payments to dispatched employee and victims (if any)

Dispatch is: _____ Not Approved


_____ Physical plant has been notified to send housekeeping for cleanup

_____ Employee supervisor has been notified to write letter of reprimand for employee file

_____ HR has been notified to stop salary payments to dispatched employee and victims (if any)

_____ This is a first offence [If this is a repeat offence, employee supervisor should be notified to initiate

termination procedures. Improperly dispatching UF employees shall receive little toleration.]


The Zombie Survival Guide, written by American author Max Brooks and published in 2003, is a survival manual dealing with the fictional potentiality of a zombie attack. It contains detailed plans for the average citizen to survive zombie uprisings of varying intensity and reach, and describes “cases” of zombie outbreaks in history, including an interpretation of Roanoke Colony. The Zombie Survival Guide was also featured on The New York Times Best Sellers list. Zombie/Post-Apocalyptic Survival Effort   Zombie Survival Kit / Emergency Survival Kit  Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, CDC 24/7: Saving lives, protecting people, reducing health costs.

[1]Such teams exist through volunteer groups (retired military, retired government officials and Rednecks).  These groups normally operate websites and are locally known.

[2]This term used in this paper was originally coined for the University of Florida and for the purpose of this exercise it will be used as a descriptive term not yet embraced by the scientific community.  Therefore, the phrase zombie behavior spectrum disorder or ZBSD must not be identified as a scientific or medical diagnosis; simply a descriptive term covering a wide variety of behaviors normally seen in Zombie behavior.  It describes a specific behavior providing disaster planning exercises realism and is used to exhibit specific dynamics of divergent outbreak behavior patterns for the exercise. Book “Zombie Survival Guide,” 1989.

[3]See the documentary studies, Night of the Living Dead (Romero, 1968), Day of the Dead (Romero, 1985), Dawn of the Dead (Romero, 1978), 28 Days Later (Boyle, 2002), Day of the Dead (Miner, 2008), Dead Snow (Wirkola, 2009), et al. For an alternative interpretation on Zombieism and survivor response patterns consult Shawn of the Dead (Wright, 2004) which addresses some of the issues related to dating during an outbreak of ZBS (see below). See for a more complete bibliography of Zombie Studies documentaries

[5] In this analysis of zombie behavior patterns, Harvard Psychiatrist Dr. Steven C. Schlozman argues conclusively that the “infected” in the study 28 Days Later could not be zombies because they possess, “some sort of higher cortical function going on that allows them to hunt humans.” Furthermore, “the fake zombies in 28 Days Later exhibit fluidity of motion. They can run, jump, climb and quickly change direction – activities that the true … zombies [portrayed in the studies by leading Zombie researcher Oscar Romero] are incapable of performing.”

[6]Lawrence, F. (2007). I Am Legend. In this documentary study of a ZBSD outbreak in New York City and surrounding areas, Lawrence asserts that the zombies were effectively deterred by garlic. However, it can be argued that the infected analyzed in Lawrence’s study were not, in fact, zombies at all due to their conscious hunting behavior, inability to come out during the day, and volitional, fluid movement. Hence, Lawrence may not be portraying ZBSD at all but part of what may be considered zombie behavior spectrum disorder; in which some infected not at the “true zombie” part of the spectrum (cf. Schlozman, op cit. fn 4) may in fact be deterred by the smell or presence of garlic. However, it is not the purpose of this disaster preparedness exercise to enter into this scholarly discussion.

 [7]Some employees may prefer weapons such as chain saws, baseball bats, and explosives that have been shown to be effective against zombies. Given the stress on staff to be anticipated during a zombie

outbreak, employees should be given the flexibility to choose their own weaponry thereby diminishing anxiety. However, the University will need to consider the savings gained at economies of scale as well as enhanced ability to support a standard anti-zombie weapons “kit.”


About The Pissed Off Tree Rat
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